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Thread: Advice please!!!

  1. #1

    Advice please!!!

    Looking for some help here please!!
    My DS (9 next week) is by nature a bit of a worrier and a thinker. He gets that from me.
    I also have a bit of a sick-phobia but I don't show it when the kids are ill, usually deal with it quite well.
    DS has always been an excellent eater, will literally eat anything, no fuss.
    The last few weeks he keeps saying he feels sick then totally panics. It's been happening at bedtime and at evening meal times.
    I am starting to get really annoyed with him. It's like there's no point cooking a nice meal or going anywhere its such a palaver.
    If I say fine I'll just take your dinner away he freaks out and says he doesn't want to starve and die!!
    But his fear is he will be sick if he eats. So then he is convinced he feels sick.
    Any trips out we've had this holiday have been pretty much ruined.
    How he's going to cope with school dinners next week I have no clue.
    Any tips/ experiences would be great x

  2. #2
    I have the same phobia and this is part of my anxiety around food. Whilst I wouldn't encourage 'safe goods' as in limited foods, I would perhaps try to use that to turn it round to make the foods you're giving him and those he's likely to encounter at school safe. When I am deciding what to eat I have to reason with myself as to why that food is safe, so you would have to give some kind of plausible (to him) reason why it's safe. For instance I eat rice because it's less likely to irritate me, or gluten free bread for the same reason, or specific types of vegetable again same reason. Or things that aren't going to make me feel too full or bloated as this triggers anxiety.
    I know the whole 'safe food' thing is primarily an eating disordered behaviour, the aim is to keep the list growing instead of narrowing it. I don't know if I'm making any sense, but this is how I do it because initially my list was tiny, but instead of using it as a negative I now use it to try to expand on the foods I feel are 'safe'

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  3. #3
    Thanks Amber. The thing is the type of food doesn't seem to matter.. It can be anything. And he's gone from having zero issues with food to this, literally overnight.

  4. #4
    I was scared of everything too but there were things I thought were safer than others so I would stick to those. Can you explain to him why a certain food is safe to eat and keep adding to the list?
    Do you have any idea why this has happened? There probably is a reason. Has he been sick or genuinely felt sick recently after eating? When I was a kid I was sick after pizza and then refused to eat pizza for years. Or perhaps he's witnessed a kid at school being sick or heard them say they felt sick after eating? Or kids may have been telling stories if they know he's frightened of being sick? Something must have happened for him to go from eating fine to this so fast

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  5. #5
    He always tells me if someone has been sick in his class but it doesn't seem to bother him too much, as long as he wasn't too close by.
    He himself is very rarely sick, the last time was months ago.
    A few weeks ago they had both been at swimming lessons and said they felt sick afterwards. My daughter was sick later, but she said she'd swallowed a lot of water in the pool. He was in bed - he said he heard but chose to stay out the way. So he never saw anything or was exposed to it. I can't say for certain if it's since then this behaviour has started but it might be.

    He goes on and on about things being healthy or not.. So part of his issue tonight was that during the day he'd had Maltesers and chocolate buttons (both fun size packs and not at the same time) but he's obsessed about whether he's had too many unhealthy things.

    He's always refused to eat "other people's food" so would never accept food off anyone's plate, but now he's worried about anyone having touched his food or if it's been dropped on the floor and is dirty?!? Obviously I don't give him food off the floor so it's all a bit random.

    I think he gets an idea in his head, then from there convinces himself he feels sick.
    Tonight we only went to Ikea for tea, which he normally loves, and it was a nightmare.

  6. #6
    Member Phoenix Song's Avatar
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    I've no experience or advice. But it sounds worrying and very stressful, I wonder if it's worth speaking to a doctor or nurse (without him knowing at this stage) to see if they have any advice?
    I hope it's a phase and passes quickly

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    Elliott is 5 Flo is 3
    And baking baby number 3!

  7. #7
    I agree with PS. It sounds like he's suffering from a lot of anxiety at the moment, perhaps someone impartial can get to the bottom of why? Sometimes kids talk more openly with those who aren't close to them

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