Would you let your kids go without you?

[*DogLover*]

My fil has asked if my sil (his daughter) can take my kids to his place for the weekend. It would be Friday to Sunday I presume. His wife would also be there. Its 4 hours away.

My kids are 4 & not quite 2. The nearly 2 year old still wakes in the night but just for someone to find her dummy. Sometimes no wakenings sometimes a good few times.

My kids stay with my mum every other week 2/3 nights so that I can work. They stay with sil (the one who would be taking them) & mil occasionally for a night. This has caused problems in the past as they want to have them more than I am prepared for them to. Equally they don't stay with my mum very often unless its for me to work.

Sil drives long distances a lot for her work & is a safe driver, although the particular road (A9) isnt the safest.

They would be well looked after, although my sil can act like a bit of a dick especially with my 4 year old (think old school mistress type talking to her).

My almost 2 year old doesn't know fil & his wife really. We only see them for a few hours every so many months. She won't go to them when we meet up & we aren't around them long enough for her to warm up.

I originally said that 4 year old could go but she got upset when i said it would just be her so in think it would be both or none.

I want to say no but don't want to come across as unreasonable.....

So would you let your kids go? I think its the sheer distance that's mainly putting me off

[dannii87]

If they are familiar with SIL then yes I would x


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[kazzie-bo]

I want to say no but don't want to come across as unreasonable.....

then i would say no.

i think perhaps they are too little still. dont worry about coming across as unreasonable, you are their mother.

[Kidston]

I wouldn't no, not at this age.
The distance would be a big thing for me.

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[angel_delight]

Definitely not at the girls ages.

[*DogLover*]

Thanks ladies. I feel like if I say yes its to please other people & I will fret. I feel as though my in-laws already think I'm a bit of a controlling bitch when it comes to the kids. I know I shouldn't care because I'm their mum. I feel like my kids stay away enough for me to work, without additional nights away. Plus I'm like 4 hours is soooo far!

[WednesdayRose]

If I wasn't comfortable then I wouldn't send them.

Will you be in work for that weekend?


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[misslarue]

I would yes. If they regularly stay with your mum (if only for work) then I think its only fair they get to stay with the in laws too. What does their Dad think? Also you've said they will be well looked after and they know your SIL too. Or Could you maybe go too and that way you're not worried and yet they will still get to spend time with their Grandparents?

[*DogLover*]

They do stay with my sil & mil on occasion, that's fine because they live 15mins away. My husband is OK with it but he says its my decision as I am the one that will worry. We go up & stay usually a weekend a year but its difficult to arrange as hubby & I work a lot of weekends & my fil & his wife are quite busy socially at weekends.

The more I think of it, the more I am against it. They are aware we could make it up more if they welcomed our dogs but they dont. Plus when they come down, its never to see us or the kids specifically we are always squeezed in, in their busy internary. It suits them to have my sil bring them up because she has every weekend off so its easier to orgsnise. I think they could try & arrange something where we or my husband could take them. He has said to his dad he would like to bring them but he's (the fil) not forthcoming at arranging something. Also I don't know how many times we have asked them about going a few days away together to something like center parcs. They always say that would be good but again not forthcoming with dates & actually making arrangements

[misslarue]

sod em then! lol if they don't make an effort that's all you can do. I'd just say, they are too young to be that far away from home, when they are a bit older maybe!

[*DogLover*]

Yup that's what I'm thinking misslarue lol