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Thread: 3 year old poo's in pants every day

  1. #16
    How old is your DD Lightning?
    DD age 5 (born 2011)
    DS age 3 (born 2013)

    mmc July 2010

  2. #17
    Fwiw my son was 4.5 before he popped on the loo he used to pooh his pants then after a while he used to teach himself to go into his pull up at bedtime. Would it be worth offering a pull up so letting lo know that they can use the pull up for it and then let them tip it into the loo maybe. Im not sure what happened to change things for us just one day he said he didnt want his pullup at bedtime so i explained if that was the case he needed to use the toilet to pooh and we never had a problem again he was nearly 5. I was lucky tho that he poohed once a day and did it in his bedtime pull up i cant imagine multiple poohs in his pants in a day that would have drove me mad

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  3. #18
    Registered User Lightning's Avatar
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    She just turned 3 in December x


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  4. #19
    My ds is 4 this month and has only just grown out of this!

    He was late to potty train anyway at 3.5 but just did it straight away, apart from poos, which he used to disappear and do in his pants. He would constantly deny needing one /having done one. We tried everything and it just made him hold it even more.

    One day he surprised me and said yes when i asked if he was pooing and we ran to the loo. It can still be hit and miss but he does try now.

    And we realised he wants privacy (but has never asked us to leave and used to cry if we did) but now i potter around upstairs and he shouts when hes finished. If i sit with him he struggles to do it.

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  5. #20
    Registered User WeePrincess's Avatar
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    I've just had to put my ds back into pull ups too. I just couldn't cope with multiple changes of clothes a day and my sofa is getting ruined. If he is naked from.waist down at home he will wee and poo in the potty/toilet/froggy urinal thing not a problem. But if he has clothes on he will just wet and poo himself. He makes no effort to get his pant and trousers down or to get the toilet or potty and will deny needing to go if I ask.
    I've had to pull him out of playgroup too because they don't have the staff or changing facilites to cope with it either. I don't know what to do with him.

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  6. #21
    I was going to suggest going naked from the waist down. As he's got this already how about going back to naked and reintroducing clothes slowly? I had to skip pants initially as the sensation was too similar to a nappy fir Sebastian so he just had loose shorts or jogging bottoms on. Did the trick and then I introduced pants when I was confident that it wouldn't affect him (he didn't wear any pants for probably 4-5 months! 😂 )

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  7. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by LucyMum View Post
    I'm having problems with Eira in this area now. She's very late with the toilet training at nearly 4 - she wees in the loo most of the time now (during the day) but poos she won't do - she'll go off and hide somewhere and do it in her pullups - she says it hurts on the loo.

    I'm going to try putting a stool at the foot of the loo so she has something to put her feet on (I've been lifting her on up until now). I guess the sensation is different. I can't remember really with my others apart from Rosie who we had loads of problems with. I think you're right, time is the answer, I've learned that there's no point getting cross although at times it can be very frustrating!
    Ds is the same, has done the odd one on the toilet but doesn't like the 'plop' sound. Have tried putting tissue down first but that makes no difference. He will only poop in nappy pants and only before bedtime.




  8. #23
    Thanks for your replies.

    MY DS is fine for wees and doesn't need a pull up over night, its just poo. I've gone back to pull ups to "catch the poo" and he's had these for a while, mostly because his preschool were getting fed up with cleaning him up multiple times a day. I'm actually moving him to a new preschool in a couple of weeks as I think the current one has not helped this situation at all. They tell him off - or so he feels - so he doesn't even tell them when he's poo'd in his pull up when he's there = sore bum. But anyway, that doesn't explain why he's not even trying at home with me. He'll happily tell me when he's done a poo in his pull up and wants to be changed. When family come to stay, like this weekend, he'll go off and poo away from them as if he knows that he "shouldn't" be doing it.

    CharisandKeira - it's good to know I'm not the only one. And I know this is a fairly common problem BUT..... my son starts school just after turning 4. With the multiple poos a day situation he's unlikely to be able to hold it til he gets home. I can't bear the thought of him having like 3 accidents a day or whatever, kids can be really cruel. He's already had an older boy at preschool mock him for pooing in his pants.

    I guess we are all saying the same thing which is that it just takes time. I'm hoping that the new preschool will help DS a bit. There are significantly fewer kids and the staff are older, wiser, more discrete. If his confidence improves maybe this will too (clutching at straws....)
    DD age 5 (born 2011)
    DS age 3 (born 2013)

    mmc July 2010

  9. #24
    Fwiw i saw a massive change in josh in the summer i dunno wat happened he just suddenly was a boy i really think this will sort itself but i can understand the stress its quite hard not to worry too much

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  10. #25
    Registered User Sesame seed's Avatar
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    I honestly think it's just time, he isn't just ready. Maybe backing off, not even mentioning it might take the pressure off everyone.
    How dare his pre-school tell him off? From reading I don't think he is doing this on purpose he just isn't ready.
    Mummy to my handsome, funny, little man

  11. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by Sesame seed View Post
    How dare his pre-school tell him off? From reading I don't think he is doing this on purpose he just isn't ready.
    Agreed Sesame Seed! His key worker bumped into me at the door a couple of times (away from DS) and was quite abrupt/stressed about it all. I thought maybe she'd had a bad day and then thought hang on a minute, if I feel told off, whats that doing to him? I have been extremely careful not to ask DS anything leading about this but once he volunteered "I don't tell Susan because she gets VERY VERY cross". He pretty much shouted it to me and then folded him arms in a huff. DH spoke to the manager who reminded all the preschool workers to sort their sh%t out because loads of the 2.5 / 3 year olds in there are in nappies and they shouldn't be making kids feel bad. So at least she is on the ball...but...i feel like two of the main workers almost don't like DS cos he causes them a lot of extra work and it is pretty full on in this place, crowded and loads of boisterous kids.

    I'd already had an uneasy feeling and had been looking at alternatives but that comment straight from DS's mouth sealed the deal for me. I really don't want to make out like its their fault he's been pooing in his pants for 6 months - obviously that's not the case, but i also hate the thought of him being anxious about telling them things. I want him to be in a kinder environment.
    DD age 5 (born 2011)
    DS age 3 (born 2013)

    mmc July 2010

  12. #27
    what a **** school so unfair making a child feel that way

  13. #28
    Registered User Sesame seed's Avatar
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    Wow... I don't think the manager should have needed to remind her staff that you shouldn't shout or get cross with children because at 3 they aren't yet toilet trained. I think she should have seriously questioned that member of staff training in early years and whether she needed either further training in development or another job!!

    I was worried about nursery as ds still pooed in his pants and they were like oh well! I have only ever got cross with ds, when he had been clean for months and one day told me he was going to poo in his pants and laughed, I said that wasn't a good idea but he did it anyway. But I explained I was cross because he did do it on purpose. Plus I wouldn't say I was very very cross!

    It it probably isn't their fault he has pooed in his pants.. He probably isn't ready but they def not helped the situation in the slightest and maybe made it harder when he does start.

    Id honesly remove all charts, treats, rewards etc. If he poos say oh well, but take him sit in toilet to change him. Take the pressure off completely.. I did with my ds and one day it just clicked. Ds was also embarrassed to say he needed the toilet, for a long time he said I need to do something clever then went to loo! When he did poo on toilet I did reward him but it was a well done rather than if you do this you can have.. Iygwim!
    Mummy to my handsome, funny, little man

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