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Thread: Think I'm pregnant again... *update*

  1. #1
    Registered User Beccah's Avatar
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    Think I'm pregnant again... *update*

    My little boy was born sleeping on 4th December, at 19 weeks. I just now took a first response test and two lines crept on after about a minute. So I think I am pregnant, but part of me is worrying that I'm imagining things because I want a baby so much. I'm also really scared that I'll miscarry again (miscarry doesn't seem quite the right word when I was nearly half way through, but that's what they said at the hospital.)

    I'm terrified to tell OH as he didn't want to get pregnant again. My little boy was an accidental pregnancy and the timing wasn't good, so OH wanted to wait until our situation got more stable before trying again. I couldn't bear to get my coil in though, partly because of my anxiety about phones and people, and partly because the idea of preventing myself from getting pregnant when it's what I want most in the whole world just hurt too much. We ended up having unprotected sex a few times. Gosh, I sound so stupid and selfish and irresponsible. I don't even know what to do right now. I feel so happy and blessed but so scared too.

    Eta: I did confide in my OH about my feelings about the coil, and he was aware I wasn't using any contraception. I just read my post back and thought I should clarify.

    *UPDATE*
    I took a digi test, it came up pregnant 3+ weeks, so I'm more than 5 weeks pregnant. I showed the tests to OH and he's really not happy. I don't know what to do. He's talking about leaving. He's angry at me for refusing to have a termination, but I've always been clear about the fact that a termination isn't something I could personally do (even though I believe it is absolutely the right choice for some people), and I feel even more strongly about that since losing my wee boy. He accepts that the blame is 50/50 in this, takes two to tango and all that, but he's so angry that the decisions going forward aren't 50/50 as it's my body. He thinks I'm really selfish in having this baby, because it means that the older children won't have their dad living with them any more, and I won't cope with 4 by myself. I know it's going to be really hard to cope with 4 with or without him, especially with my depression and anxiety, but I have a supportive family and a good doctor, and I will manage somehow because I love all my kids. I'm trying to remember more of what was said, but it's difficult as I was really emotional at the time. He's said that I have to make a choice between doing something that will make me happy and him miserable or the other way around, and that I never compromise in our relationship so this is my chance. But from my point of view, he is asking me to choose between him and my child, and that's not even a choice. I love him to pieces, but there is nobody in the world I'll choose over my children.
    Last edited by Beccah; 18-03-2014 at 11:04 AM.



    Also mummy to Kim (8), Elyja (5) and Lucille the Booby Kid (2).

  2. #2
    Registered User WeePrincess's Avatar
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    Firstly congratulations beccah
    And secondly if dh knew you weren't using contraception then he can't be too shocked if you get pregnant. Baby is obviously meant to be x

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk



    Cheered Helenna & Jelly to BFP

  3. #3
    No advice for you but wanted to say congratulations!
    Mummy to two girlies aged 5 and 6

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by WeePrincess View Post
    Firstly congratulations beccah
    And secondly if dh knew you weren't using contraception then he can't be too shocked if you get pregnant. Baby is obviously meant to be x

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk
    This, def talk to him bet he will react better than u think


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  5. #5
    Congratulations lovely . xx
    TAMMY
    Mum to Dd#1 2002, Dd#2 2006 & Ds#1 2012

  6. #6
    Just sending hugs
    I know its hard but you'll need your OH's support through this
    Lots of love xx
    Loving being a mummy of 3 gorgeous princes & 2 beautiful princesses
    Totally in love with my hubby
    Mum to Rion-9-born Feb 2006(T+1) Jack-7-born August 2007(T+2)
    John-5-born April 2009(37+5) Ava-mae -4-born Feb 2011(39+2)
    and Isla Grace - 9 weeks - born Dec 2014(37)

  7. #7
    Congratulations
    My unplanned pregnancy ended in mc and was so the wrong time
    Speak to hubby, I'm sure it won't be ss bad as you think

    Mmc at 11+4 ~ December 2013 ~ EDD 30/06/14
    Mmc at 12+1~ April 2014 ~ EDD 27/10/14

  8. #8
    And congrats, your oh contributed to the baby making so he can't be that against it, you're better off telling him sooner rather than later so he can support you through what will be a worrying time.xxx
    Xxx Baby Alice 29.12.2013 always in our hearts xxX




    my story- http://www.pregnancyforum.org.uk/sho...aby-number-two!

    Wishing HTPR, pattiamy and lilyblue a happy and healthy nine months!
    Cheering lauraleigh84, sesame seed and my special friend vickiemay to their bfps!

  9. #9
    Registered User 1st Baby's Avatar
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    I cant believe he is threatening to leave. Do you think he would really walk out on his other children or is this just athreat to try and get you to back down? What kind of man would willingly walk on out all his chikldren (born and unborn) and his partner, I think he might just be angry but at the end of the day he shouldnt have consented to unprotected sex if he was this against having another baby.

    I really feel for you hun, this must be horrible and not what you need after your loss in December. I hope he calms down and looks at this properly soon

    Fully fledged member of the twonk club (cant stop poas)

  10. #10
    Registered User Beccah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1st Baby View Post
    I cant believe he is threatening to leave. Do you think he would really walk out on his other children or is this just athreat to try and get you to back down? What kind of man would willingly walk on out all his chikldren (born and unborn) and his partner, I think he might just be angry but at the end of the day he shouldnt have consented to unprotected sex if he was this against having another baby.

    I really feel for you hun, this must be horrible and not what you need after your loss in December. I hope he calms down and looks at this properly soon
    I don't know. I really think he might leave. I really hope he changes his mind and stays, and I'll do everything I can to make him happy. I posted a bit more info in the MO section too.



    Also mummy to Kim (8), Elyja (5) and Lucille the Booby Kid (2).

  11. #11
    Mistresskb
    Guest
    Oh Beccah, I am so sorry that you are having to be put in this position.

    I know it is hard to talk these things through without arguing but:
    You have to tell him that you didn't plan this BUT you had a loss and you needed this baby to help get over it (like any other animal)
    Also, if he leaves, he is missing out on seeing his children grow up - and it is him making this decision, not you.
    You obviously love each other to have made this baby, and both of you need to remember and fall back on this.
    You love this unborn child partly because it is part of him.

    also, I have never heard if any couple getting over a termination where one party wants the child.

    Hugs and fx for you, Hun.

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by WeePrincess View Post
    Firstly congratulations beccah
    And secondly if dh knew you weren't using contraception then he can't be too shocked if you get pregnant. Baby is obviously meant to be x

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk
    I'm sorry but this! How can he even think of a termination, leaving or being angry when he knew at the time there was a chance of getting pregnant. Also how can you be the selfish one for taking the kids Dad away, he is the one CHOOSING to leave.
    Congratulations on your pregnancy.
    Last edited by Jills10uk; 18-03-2014 at 01:23 PM.
    DS1 - 6
    DS2 - 3&1/2
    DD1 - 18 months
    DD2 - 1 month

    Take your FOLIC ACID - preferably before conception. Your babies brain develops before 12dpo
    MMC@ 12+3 July 09 - Chem Preg Jan 10

  13. #13
    Have commented on your other thread but also wanted to say I'm sorry for the loss of your little boy xx
    I hope he doesn't leave and sees sense but worse case scenario if he does, I know you're saying you won't be able to cope as a single mother to 4 children - you will! We often think we can't cope with a lot of things that life throws at us but 99.9% of the time we do xx

  14. #14
    Oh dear, your dh helped make this baby so to say you are being selfish is just not fair, if that is how he really feels then he was selfish to have unprotected sex when he didn't want another baby. I hope he is just scared of the unknown and will come round and realise that that perhaps having this baby will make you both happy. Sorry you are in this position x
    Xxx Baby Alice 29.12.2013 always in our hearts xxX




    my story- http://www.pregnancyforum.org.uk/sho...aby-number-two!

    Wishing HTPR, pattiamy and lilyblue a happy and healthy nine months!
    Cheering lauraleigh84, sesame seed and my special friend vickiemay to their bfps!

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Beccah View Post
    My little boy was born sleeping on 4th December, at 19 weeks. I just now took a first response test and two lines crept on after about a minute. So I think I am pregnant, but part of me is worrying that I'm imagining things because I want a baby so much. I'm also really scared that I'll miscarry again (miscarry doesn't seem quite the right word when I was nearly half way through, but that's what they said at the hospital.)

    I'm terrified to tell OH as he didn't want to get pregnant again. My little boy was an accidental pregnancy and the timing wasn't good, so OH wanted to wait until our situation got more stable before trying again. I couldn't bear to get my coil in though, partly because of my anxiety about phones and people, and partly because the idea of preventing myself from getting pregnant when it's what I want most in the whole world just hurt too much. We ended up having unprotected sex a few times. Gosh, I sound so stupid and selfish and irresponsible. I don't even know what to do right now. I feel so happy and blessed but so scared too.

    Eta: I did confide in my OH about my feelings about the coil, and he was aware I wasn't using any contraception. I just read my post back and thought I should clarify.

    *UPDATE*
    I took a digi test, it came up pregnant 3+ weeks, so I'm more than 5 weeks pregnant. I showed the tests to OH and he's really not happy. I don't know what to do. He's talking about leaving. He's angry at me for refusing to have a termination, but I've always been clear about the fact that a termination isn't something I could personally do (even though I believe it is absolutely the right choice for some people), and I feel even more strongly about that since losing my wee boy. He accepts that the blame is 50/50 in this, takes two to tango and all that, but he's so angry that the decisions going forward aren't 50/50 as it's my body. He thinks I'm really selfish in having this baby, because it means that the older children won't have their dad living with them any more, and I won't cope with 4 by myself. I know it's going to be really hard to cope with 4 with or without him, especially with my depression and anxiety, but I have a supportive family and a good doctor, and I will manage somehow because I love all my kids. I'm trying to remember more of what was said, but it's difficult as I was really emotional at the time. He's said that I have to make a choice between doing something that will make me happy and him miserable or the other way around, and that I never compromise in our relationship so this is my chance. But from my point of view, he is asking me to choose between him and my child, and that's not even a choice. I love him to pieces, but there is nobody in the world I'll choose over my children.
    Dear Beccah, I have just read your story and want to say that I hope you are working your way through this situation. I really feel for you. You obviously love all the people around you and are being put in a very difficult situation. I would trust your instincts, stay in a position of love, love your children, born and unborn, and hopefully your OH will become calmer. Best wishes xx

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