Ok here goes... Christmas Eve my husband and I got to see our baby for the first time, bouncy about, strong heart beat, 37mm long and 10wks 4 days old. We were told it was too early for the downs syndrome test and we needed to return for a sexond scan in 2 weeks time, we were over joyed at the opportunity to see our little bean again.
Scan date was Wednesday and no heart beat!!!!! It was laying/ face planted, not moving it was an image I am struggling to forget. It seems it must have died a couple of days after first scan.
I had an ERPC on Friday evening and feel like my feet havent touched the ground since I walked into the scanning unit on wednesday.
I had no idea i had miscarried. No blood, slight cramping which I did ask midwife about who said not to worry, all blood tests came back fine, boobs still hurt, still felt nausea,
The only couple of things on reflection was how much energy i felt i now had And the other was i was able to drink tea but I put these down to heading towards 2nd trimester!
So the biggest shock for both of us, numb/stunned/angry/ lost/ uncertainity and the big question What happened to my baby in those few days after christmas eve?????????
I am currently laying in bed as have been in considerable pain all night and now I am trying to do something productive with my time.
I am worried how I am going to feel when the pain stops as at the moment this is giving me something to think about and plan for - pain killers ibuprofen and paracetamol every 2 hours, sanitary towels and online food orders with lots of iron rich foods. Work has suggested i have some time off to adjust. I just dont want to get into a dark place so am worried if i dont keep myself busy that will happen.