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Thread: Positive Discipline / Gentle Discipline

  1. #121
    I wouldn't say that was a tantrum more just upset .

    I've had some truly cringe worthy moments this year with my son proper red faced moments when we have gone to collect his sister from school. One day he kept trying to run out of the playground back to the car which was in the street so I was restraining him screaming in my arms and a mum was being friendly and asked him about his scarf to try and distract him and he tried to hit her! So embarrassing. He is such a sweet natured boy usually too really affectionate and caring but was just going through a very strong willed and frustrated stage.

  2. #122
    I have no idea what I'll do when R gets to that age.

    I don't remember what I used to do when my cousins tantrumed and I babysat. :/

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  3. #123
    Yeah, she's too little for a full on thing now. She roars at me in a little temper sometimes which is well cute. she's just discovered this deep growly voice.

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  4. #124
    If it goes with your parenting style there's nothing wrong with ignoring them but it doesn't fit with my empathetic gentle style.

    How I deal with tantrums depends on why, how and where. In general terms I comfort (hug or stroke back or quietly talk through how/why he's feeling). We might read some of his emotion books or shake a calm jar. LO is 2.5yo so can also go with what he asks for.

    The biggest help with tantrums for me was understanding it is good to have them (sometimes). That they can be healthy and are an essential part of learning to deal with emotions.

    Aha parenting website was a god send



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  5. #125
    I think if I gave my son a calm jar he would launch it at me lol I have seen those bottles with the glitter/liquid/oil in though and I think they might work well for my daughter atm when she needs some time to refocus, kind of like meditation really watching those things they are mesmerizing.

  6. #126
    Distraction is a brilliant tool for younger toddlers I used that loads! But when LO started getting more upset (about 22mo) I knew new tactics were needed!

    The potential harm in ignoring tantrums is the child learns he is only left to deal with bad feelings and can repress them or learn they are not food to have.

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  7. #127
    My sister in law who has is a research psychologist said to me "have you tried screaming back at him?" lol! My main problem though is that Archie will perhaps be tantrumming because he wants to do something dangerous or wants a certain type of food and even though I have acknowledged his feelings and frustrations he will just be so bloody minded that he IS going to continue jumping off the back off the sofa/climbing inside the fridge/going to get some cake that he seems like he has blinkers on he can't/wont hear me? I think with his strong will and determination he is going to go far if he applies it positively lol.

    I do find it hard to know how much to parent these days, I have been re-reading siblings without rivalry and although I didn't agree with all of it one of the things I did like was giving your children the tools to resolve conflict with each other rather than just stepping in and taking over. I have found that since I have tried to make my two more empathetic towards each other they have become (ever so slightly) better at sharing and turn taking.

  8. #128
    Member Phoenix Song's Avatar
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    My grandma thinks screaming/hitting/biting back is the answer to everything
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  9. #129
    Yeah Positive Discipline can be interpreted as praise good, ignore bad. If I made an Empathetic thread it would have less traffic than this though to be honest if you are with them and are trying to redirect then that is not ignoring. One of my first "achievements" with gentle parenting was stopping C banging on the window with a hard plastic toy by showing him he could bang on the radiator Not quite a distraction, re-direction is definitely the better word for it.

    I know some people who literally leave the child on their own or even put them on the naughty step for a tantrum; as if it is something naughty!

    Any of you done the Toddler Calm course?

  10. #130
    Member Phoenix Song's Avatar
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    I was experiencing a meltdown just now. Nothing was working to distract him. My daughter was crying so I dealt with her first. 5 minutes of being trying to distract him virus 2 minutes boobying her and ignoring him and he's almost calmed down.

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  11. #131
    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    If I gave Florence a "calm jar" during a tantrum it would get thrown on the floor and broken A glass jar containing glitter is the kind of thing I would remove from her during a melt-down, not give it to her Each child is different though I guess, I suppose if you have a more placid child then that could work well.

    My style of parenting doesn't have a name, it's more from the school of "just muddle through each day and try and wing it parenting". Most of her melt-downs oocur in late afternoon when she's started to get tired (she doesn't nap) & distraction still works pretty well most of the time.
    This is my style of parenting too.

    Though I am now getting fed up of the constant interruptions when I am talking to other people. I have tried telling him in a stern voice to wait his turn, tried in a gentle voice to wait his turn, tried just ignoring him but so far nothing is working. As he has now started to do it at work when I am talking to customers I need to get control of this. Any advise?

  12. #132
    Jumping in on this thread... We've been using bits of positive parenting/gentle parenting (or at least our interpretation I guess) but always looking for more pointers.


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  13. #133
    Hi everyone, sorry to jump in on this, but I have been gentle parenting with my daughter for 2.5 years. Or doing my best to! I am so passionate about spreading the word, as many parents are unfamiliar with this having been bought up very differently themselves, or they don't trust it can be effective.

    I have organised a family festival to support parents, not only 'gentle parenting' parents but all parents, but some of you may be interested! Sarah Ockwell-Smith, who is an author and parenting expert will be there, and there will be loads of inspiring workshops and fun family activities! Please do have a little look www.tribalheartsfestival.co.uk

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